IDEALISM

My book club is reading this book called "Brave Hearts" (thanks sis for the suggestion). I am really enjoying it so far. Chapter 4 is called "The Queen of Hearts" and this chapter really starts to get into the substance of what the book is about.
I don't know if it is a good sign when you read something and everything that person is writing seems to describe yourself. It is like they have a little window into your soul and have plucked out the pieces that you may not want to acknowledge exist in there. This has happened to me when I read the bible ( I wish it would happen more frequently) and occasionally happens to me when I read a good book.

Mary Beth Chapman in her book called "Choosing to See" (another great read) stated in humor that she sometimes thinks of herself as the unofficial 4th member of the Trinity. I can relate to that at times because I can tend to think that I know what is best for myself, my kids, and in general the future of the world (now that is a slight exaggeration).

Back to the Queen of Hearts chapter though......."Rather than surrender to an uncontrollable God who made us and trust Him during the ups and downs of relationships, we take control by directing the energy of our hearts in ways that allow us to feel as if we're at the steering wheel of our own lives." Sharon Hersh

I might describe myself as someone who rushes around with 8 plates spinning on top of my head. I feel like it is my responsibility to keep them all in the air, spinning at the same speed, clean, AND if one drops and breaks then depending on the day and time of the month, it may be a large issue in my life. Even worse, I feel like I can put that pressure on those around me that if something doesn't go according to "THE PLAN OF ABBY" then the world may very well spin out of orbit (does the earth even orbit, I have no idea..... never could remember the exact relation between the earth, sun and moon and I homeschool so there is hope for those of you who are thinking of homeschooling.) I am sure I will relearn that earth/sun/moon thing next year when my daughter studies astronomy.

This really isn't meant to be a post that beats myself up (although that is another of my perfectionistic faults). I think that deep down many women are "Idealists".

Here are some examples of what we may think when Idealism rules our hearts:

1.If others think I am a failure, then I am a failure.
2.I should be able to anticipate problems before they occur.
3.If I send my husband to the grocery store, he will probably get the wrong things.
4.My children should always do what I tell them to do.
5.If I am discouraged or have a bad day, others will perceive me as weak.
6.It would be terrible if I was late.

"Perfectionism keeps us from receiving from others" Sharon Hersh.
If I am afraid to show weakness or have a bad day then I can't be humble enough to ask for help or let others (or God) in to meet me where I need it and give the strength that I don't have.

Now here is the best part.... If I focus on all the above areas that I feel I need to work on ( and since I am a previously stated perfectionist) I could easily do that, then I would feel pretty discouraged. BUT, the Lord wants us to take those things to HIM and lay them at HIS feet and draw strength that only HE can give. HE alone has the power to change hearts, words, and thoughts.
I am so encouraged by this verse and promise from Colossians 1:17

"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together"

That just puts life into perspective for me and I need to choose to remember that when my silly idealistic thought patterns rear their ugly little heads. He is able to use my shortcomings for HIS glory, praise God! Maybe this week I will cut it down to 4 spinning plates and see how that works!

Abby