Welcome to Elani's world

We've all had those life changing experiences that go down as significant moments in one's life. You know which ones I'm talking about; those moments or times that contribute to shaping you as a person and have a life long impact on how you think and who you are. Yesterday was one of those days for me. Much like a jade artist strikes a chisel against a stone, I was struck yesterday by a culture and experience that has forever impacted my life.I traveled with a hired driver, guide, and a friend named Tracy. Bill and Tracy adopted a little boy whose orphanage was close to Elani's; it worked out swell to be travel partners. It was a 5 hour journey south through a mix of mountains, farms, and industrial area. The road we traveled was new - only 15 years old. Previously the road was dirt without bridges over the three different branches of the Pearl River. Travelers used to take ferries over the rivers. This extended the trip to 12 hours each way. Fortunately, we had pavement (though broken and rough) to drive on. We passed many rice fields where workers bent over tending their crops. Other workers walked behind oxen with large plows. And other workers walked carrying heavy loads that hung from a rod across their shoulders.
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The first photo above is the view of Sui Xi (Swee Shee) county and city as you enter it. The city is a conglomeration of poor and middle class living conditions. Some stores are run down and barely standing. Others seem somewhat new and renovated. There were a surprising number of young adults bustling about the streets on bikes and scooters. The photo above is of a small market we stopped at to buy treats and food for the orphanage kids, the director, and staff. The store owner had to pull out the cardboard and write our items down to do the math. We bought quite a lot and our guide helped him keep it all straight.

The director (above) was warm, welcoming, and very jovial. We sat in the board room and had a Q and A. I must admit I am quite clunky when it comes to acculturating quickly. But, I kinda got the hang of things and worked pretty well through our translator. I asked all about Elani's living conditions, her routines, her personality, etc.

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I learned something neat about her name. Her last name is Sui - for the county she lives in. Her first name is Jia - for the year 2007 that she came to be cared for at the orphanage. And her middle name is Yi (Yee) - this is her special name given her by the orphanage staff. Yi means, "beautiful, sweet." Her Aya (caretaker) said she was given this name because it was easy to overlook her cleft lip and see she had a beautiful face, beautiful eyes, and was a sweet little girl. So they named her Yi.

This is a photo of Elani's Aya and the director. She was quite shy and was embarrassed to have her photo taken. She was a very happy, joyous girl who laughed a lot.

This photo is of Elani's best friend. Their cribs were next to each other. They entertained each other by reaching through the crib and touching each other. The orphanage does the best they can but there is not much money to help take care of the children. Elani's orphanage was quite poor. There were no mattresses; the kids slept on plywood and spent most of the day in their plywood cribs. There were no blankets that I saw. The kids have never been outside. They get to go to the playroom I believe once a day. Though I am smiling in this photo, I had to hold back some tears as I went to each child and handed them one of the treats we brought from the store. The children did not know how to respond to my attention. They all had blank stares; their eyes seemed distant and numb. Each child has so much potential but has never been given a chance to grow or develop. We have seen how Elani has developed so rapidly over the past five days. My heart ached at the thought many of these kids will never have that chance. It's hard to think of Elani spending all but a couple hours a day for the past two and a half years sitting or lying in her plywood crib. No stimulation. No touching. No love. These things are not the purpose of the orphanage - the purpose is to meet the basic survival needs of the children in hope they find homes.

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I took more photos of Elani's empty crib but we're reserving those for the Spear family photo album. I also saw her finding site and we're reserving those as well.

The director of the orphanage was quite nice and polite. He invited us to lunch; he wished to show his appreciation for our donation and for adopting little Elani into our family. He was extremely grateful for that. I took the opportunity to boast about my family and I passed some photos all around. In the above photo the director, the orphanage staff, and the wait staff are examining them closely. They thought our family was beautiful and they expressed once again their gratitude to our family. The director proceeded to order a HUGE spread of food. I knew every ounce of my diplomatic energy would be tested and used as I forced myself to "enjoy" every course. To my surprise, most of it was quite tasty. With the exception of the sea cucumber (which kept squirting around in my mouth as it evaded my chewing), the rest was nice: the lamb, chicken, shrimp, rolls, and other things I did not recognize. When they brought out the chicken, the head was boiled and sitting on the platter. The director picked it up and chomped into it. When he saw the amazed look on my face he laughed. He let me take a picture of his second bite! We had a nice conversation through our interpreter. She did a wonderful job.

One Chinese tradition I quickly learned was toasting. The director ordered us a local beer and they kept it coming! Each time he took a drink he held his glass over my plate so I was aware he was taking a gulp. In response I was to raise my glass, clink it with his, and match his gulp. And, each time I took a drink I was to do the same to him. The wait staff kept our glasses full of the tasty local brew and after trying to keep up with the toasts I was hoping I was going to make it out of there! Fortunately it was a light beer and I left without an influence; regardless it created a bond we both enjoyed and got some good laughs out of it.

The people were wonderful and they are doing their best. However, the circumstances are dire and so very sad. I have learned so very much about the Chinese economics and government over the last couple weeks. I ask all the questions I can to learn about this country we are visiting. The most significant learnings have been the insights into the pressures on women to "lose" children. The economic, political, and social pressures that effect a women's family planning are real and intense. I can only imagine what a women must feel as she makes her way under the cover of darkness into a busy place, sets the child in a visible area, and steps far away to watch as the sun rises and people begin to stir. Once her child is noticed, the police are called and she slips into the city forever hoping her child will be blessed with a chance at life.

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As I pulled away from Elani's orphanage, I felt so privileged to be the family chosen by God to raise this little girl. Of all the millions of babies in need, it was Elani who was destined for us. Seeing her empty crib brought joy to my heart. Though my heart ached for the time she had spent there, her crib was now empty. She is with us now. And she is loved. She has a mattress. She has a blanket. And she has a Leapster that she stole from her sister!

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And now Elani is making herself right at home. She is smiling more and more. And, she is voicing her opinion. When she wants something from one of her sisters, she has perfected the yank-and-yell. We already have sibling rivalry and it has never been so sweet. I praise God for our two older girls who have been God-sends on this trip and are blessings in every way. And I thank God for the two empty cribs in China and the beautiful young ladies in our family. Just a few more days and we're heading home. Operation Bringing Home Elani has impacted me forever.